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mokin: Existential sales pitch 

mokin:

Joanna found this sales pitch in her predecessor’s files at her new job:

Have you ever read The Stranger by Albert Camus? If so, then you know that the book discusses the meaninglessness of life and the inevitability of death. If you have not read this novel, then I just provided you with a factoid that could make for some stimulating party conversation. Now, you’re probably wondering why I am trying to discuss literature with you, and while I’m sure that I would appreciate your intellect and aptitude toward literary criticism, unfortunately literary debate and dialogue is not relevant in this circumstance. Instead, I want to talk to you about the [INSURANCE AGENT EXAM GUIDE]. You see, the protagonist of Camus’ tale is a man sentenced to die for committing an illegal crime. When he first learns of his impending execution, he becomes justifiably upset. While this reaction is understandable, he uses this event to solidify his belief in the pointlessness of life. Now, I’m going to take some creative liberties and argue that it wasn’t the punishment itself that caused this reaction, but rather the realization that his life insurance plan was lacking in its coverage and death benefits, and he was troubled that his loved ones would not receive any monetary closure from his death. If he only had a competent, licensed, life and health insurance agent, the protagonist probably would have gained a further appreciation for life. Transpose this fictional dilemma to real life, and this is where you come in. You know that life is full of meaning; you know that a person’s life needs protection from grievous risks and perils, and you know that in order to perform these services, you need to have licensed representatives. Now this is where [COMPANY NAME] comes in.”

I don’t know about you, but if I heard this pitch, I’d be all, “Uh, yeah, where do I sign?”

Source: mokin

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  1. aviatrixes reblogged this from chels
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  3. chels reblogged this from mokin and added:
    pitch, I’d be all, “Uh, yeah,
  4. mokin posted this